| Listen.... |
[05 Nov 2006|11:06pm] |
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~*~If you see me walking with someone else, It's not because I love him, it's because you weren't brave enough to walk beside me. If you see me smiling, it's not because I have forgotten you, it's because I am tired of crying over you. If you see me living again, it's not because I want to get back at you, it's because I want to get back what you took from me. If you see me falling for someone else, it's not because you were never around, it's because your were never there to catch me. But most of all, if I fall in love with someone else, it's not because I wanted to, it's because you were never there to love me back.
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| Behind These Eyes... |
[03 Nov 2006|05:03am] |
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music |
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Behind These Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson |
] |
Man..I really look forward to writing in this thing. I really think that it is helping somewhat. I know that probably in a year from now when I am reading back over this my life will be different. That is what I am looking forward to.
Last night I talked to him.He told me that he just wanted to be friends. Which sucked. He gave me the reason that he thought we couldn't be friends if we ever broke up. I tried to make him understand that I would always be his friend but he just wouldn't listen. I don't wanna think this but I can't help to think that it is a excuse to just get out. But what can I do ya know...
Today..I had a pretty good day. Today was Gary's last day at Lowe's which made me sad..and then of course there is putting up with everything that goes on in Lowe's on pretty much a daily basis. Well I can also say that I wasn't thinking alot about things today. My brain was so occupied on what was going on with a few more situations. You know..all I am going to say is that the flood gates just opened.
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| Love Me or Hate Me |
[01 Nov 2006|09:30pm] |
Haha...Last Night...Yeah...I was such a good girl!!! I did have alot of fun! No I didn't get in trouble. But something that happened last night really put everything in perspective for me. And now..I know beyond a shadow of a doubt how I feel. And I don't know any other way to show to him. Okay..so lets just say that someone that I was "interested" in and really liked basically let me know he was wanting this! ( haha ) I knew that something was going on with this guy for a while now I just didn't realize what was going on til last night. It really isn't the fact that I didn't know if I wanted to be with him..but this situation is the perfect was to let him know that I am being serious. If he don't realize how I feel when he finds out what happened then I don't know what will let him know! I don't know what to do.
As for today..I have had a semi-good day. I am really stressed about kidstuf so I think that has took my mind off things alot. But I still have my moments...
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| Just Another Day.. |
[31 Oct 2006|08:56pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
You know..doing this seems to be helping...alittle.
Today..I am doing..about the same. I put on the mask that lets everyone know that I am okay. I have to. Because if I don't keep everything together..I just hurt ppl. That is something I can't handle. If I am going to break down I do it in private...like I did last night. Last night I truly faced what my problem is. A problem that I haven't told anyone except one person. The only reason that she knows is because she asked me about it. Otherwise..I don't think that I would have told anyone else. But last night I really faced my fear..my problem and everything else that keeps me from truly being happy. The reason I broke up with him...the reason I hurt him so bad.
I cried again last night...
I really need to stop doing that. I never cry about anything but ever since Friday I just can't seem to stop. Maybe I am crying because I am so upset that I don't know what to do..maybe it is because my heart is breaking into and I don't know if I can help it..Or maybe it is just me being weak.
I still need answers to the questions that I have. Til then I don't think that I will ever be content.
I am so sick of screwing everything good in my life up. Anything good that has ever happened to me I am monumentally screwed up. Maybe that is what I will be the rest of my life..maybe I am destined to just make a mess out of my life. I don't see how I could help someone elses life if mine is so messed up.
Not talking to him..is literally killing me inside.
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| So we need to have a talk... |
[30 Oct 2006|06:21pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
*sighs*
I havent been on this thing in forever. Sorry but MySpace has taken over my life. However I have a feeling that in the course of events that has happened over the weekend..I am going to be spending alittle more time on here. I really need somewhere to go that I can just vent,talk,or just get my emotions out. Right now I am getting my emotions out in a very unsafe way. Before you start thinking the worst then I am going to tell you that my "therapy" was driving fast..really fast. To be completely honest with you I haven't done it in A LONG time. And I am not going to lie...it felt good. But that will only result in me possibly killing myself. And that just isn't going to work. But the reaason why I am so upset here lately is because I have had my first boyfriend. I know shocking huh..yall never thought that would happen..little ol whitney..has a boyfriend. Well I wanna say that it was one of the best things that had ever happened to me. But as everyone knows me I ALWAYS screw up everything. I don't really know if it is genetic considering my family..( if you know anything about them then you know why I tend to screw everything up) or if it is just me..being an idot...cause I am really good at that. Ya see I started dating this boy...no names by the way so don't ask...and I really liked him. And that scared me..alot. Nobody really could ever understand how scared I was. So I broke up with him..I know I am an idot..what else is new. But I was scared..I knew what I wanted but I didn't know what to do or understand everything if that makes any sense whatsoever. Well needless to say I really hurt him (obviously) and I didn't mean to. That was never my intension. I would have rather hurt myself in some way than to ever hurt him. But I did..and I felt so horrible because I couldn't get my emotions together and I hated my self for that. But I needed that time to figure out everything I needed to because I knew that if I didn't it could or would have ended up worse. Well we continued to talk everyday and as time went on I realized that what I had done was a mistake. So when I asked him to start dating again..he told me he needed time. I will not lie I was upset..but even more I was confused. So confused. He told me he needed time..and I understand. I would give him all the time he need. Because I understand how you could be confused..hello so was I. But what has really gotten me upset is the reason behind this. He told a certain friend of mine that the reason he told me he needed time was that he wanted me to feel how he felt when I broke up with him. When my friend told me this I just broke down and cried. At the time I honestly couldn't think of anything more mean. I never intentionally meant to hurt him. I have done said that if I could have took his hurt and put it on me then I would have done it gladly and in a heart beat. But obviously I hurt him so bad that vengence is the only solution he could come up with. I am sorry that I hurt him..but is hurting me back justification? He always tells me that I would never intentionally be mean to him...so how can he turn around and be mean to me..knowing I didn't mean to hurt him?
Why??
That is my question right now!!!
I am getting away today..I need it...I need to think. But I also need answers!!
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| Make Way... |
[16 Mar 2006|10:51am] |
Hello everyone. How is everyone.
Sorry I haven't updated in a while but I have been busy and on my space. So let me tell ya about this weekend.
Friday I went out to the Rest Area and had fun..Saturday I went to the Casting Crowns concert. I had such a wonderful time there. The concert was awsome. Sunday I had to open so I didn't get to go to church but I had KidStuf practice that night. Monday..me and Sis went to JC and had a great time over there. We went to Lifeway and I bought some decals for my car. Then we went to Chilis and ate and then went to the mall. That night we had Bible study and everyone pray for Josh A. He lost his grandmother monday.
Well that is about all that has happened for me this week.
If yall aint doing nothing come out to the Rest area tonight or tomorrow night. You will have a good time.
God Bless
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| Perfect Day... |
[14 Mar 2006|12:09am] |
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music |
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Josh Bates - Perfect Day |
] |
Hey if any of you have a my space go and add me. I posted my url last post but I will post it again. www.myspace.com/wishney
I will update later.
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| Faith... |
[10 Mar 2006|11:52am] |
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music |
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Cindy Morgan - Praise The King |
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You know we all need faith. And it is hard sometimes to have it. I know because I have been there. I've felt that way. But my God is a great God. Greater than I can imagine. And he can do the impossible. He can move mountains that are before you. He has raised the dead. So why do we worry? If God has done all those things then why do we get upset when something comes against us and we feel we can't do anything to stop it. I can tell you what it is...it is the devil. So when we face things that seem hopeless...keep your focus on Jesus..pray..and just listen. He may not tell you right away...but he will.....in his time.
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| Let My Lifesong sing to you... |
[04 Mar 2006|01:40am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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| [ |
music |
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Casting Crowns - Lifesong |
] |
Hello everyone..I am going to be keeping this very short because it is late and I have to work tomorrow. Things are going great right now. The lord really works in such amazing ways. I love it!!! Just continue to pray for me and the things I am praying about. I will continue to pray for all of you as well.
Well that is really all I have to say...that is for tonight.
love ya
God bless..
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| Lets Be One.. |
[28 Feb 2006|10:43am] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
] |
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music |
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Swtichfoot - We Are One Tonight |
] |
I am amazed at how things work. At how God works in our lives. How something your whole life is just so unclear and then in just a moment it is totally changed. You know you walk through times and you don't understand why you have to walk through it. You complain,cry,get upset,whine whatever it may be..but the very fact is that you are walking through this for a purpose. Why would God let you walk through it if it didn't have a purpose?
I finally know what my purpose is..what I am to do! Please pray with me about this.
We Are One Tonight - Switchfoot
All rise
All fall
I'll fail you all
We built these cities to stand so tall
We've lost our walls
I don't want to lose you coming down
With the whole world upside-down
I don't have a soul to trust in now
With the whole world upside-down
We are one tonight
And we're singing it out
We are one tonight
And we're dreaming out loud
And the world is flawed
But these scars will heal
We are one tonight
Tonight, tonight!
Two eyes
One tongue
I've come undone
I'm no victim
I paid these dues
I came to lose
I don't want to fight about it now
With the whole world upside down
I don't have a soul to trust in now
With the whole world upside down
We are one tonight
And we're singing it out
We are one tonight
And we're dreaming out loud
And the world is flawed
But these scars will heal
We are one tonight
Tonight!
Tonight!
Tonight!
Tonight!
Tonight!
I don't want to lose a common ground
With the whole world upside down
I don't want to fight about it now
And the world was burning out
Let's slow the evening down
Slow it down
Slow down
Please slow down
Down
Down
The stars are comin' out!
We are one!
We are one!
We are one!
We are one tonight!
We are one tonight
And we're singing it out
We are one tonight
And we're dreaming out loud
And the world is flawed
But these scars will heal
We are one tonight!
Tonight!
Tonight!
(Yeah!)
Tonight!
So fight it out.
So fight it out.
So fight it out, right now.
Tonight!
So fight it out.
We're still fighting out.
Tonight!
So we'll find out
'Till we're one tonight
'Till we're one tonight
Tonight!
One!
One!
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| Burning for Him |
[27 Feb 2006|12:54pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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Toby Mac - Burn For You |
] |
Hey guys...this one is going to be really short. I have to go get ready for work like Now! haha..
This weekend started out really rough but it got better. I was sick yet again on Friday with a migrane which is uncommon for me to have one so close together like that. Nevertheless I did nothing on Friday beside lay in the bed and be sick. Saturday I was really tired from just the day before. I did end up going to Johnson City with my parents and eating at Misaki's and going to Lifeway and Barnes and Noble. I bought a few books and I am reading them now. Sunday I went and sang at church and then went to Little Mexico. It was Mark's birthday so at 5 I went to his birthday party at his house. We all had a good time there and then at 7 I had to go to Kidstuf practice. That went well and I ended up coming home and talking to Bobbi.
Man the lord is really really showing me stuff. This weekend was just another amazing weekend. I would like you to remember me in prayer. I am praying about something and I would like it if you all would help me pray about it. I know that the Lord is going to do something amazing in my life. So just help me pray.
Well that is about it I guess for today. I added a new album in my My Pics so go check them out. I hope everyone has a blessed day!
Toby Mac - Burn For You
I'm a brand new man, I'm a conscious man
I’m a man who’s burnin’ for you
The mistakes I’ve made have been chased away to the bottom of the ocean blue
I’m a brand new man in a foreign land, I’m a man who’s feelin’ that fire
And it’s all so clear when I’m standing here at the peak of my desire
So won’t you move me like you used to
I want the world to know I burn for you
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
(Let the smoke clear)
Woke up in a sweat, those ghosts in my head
Had a grip, but I slipped on by
It’s a whole new day as the darkness fades
And the sun’s shinning in the sky
I concede, my love, that I need your love
I’m before you, a broken man
And it’s only you, no substitutes who can renew this soul again
So won’t you move me like you used to
I want the world to know I burn for you
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I am alive again
You got me lifted and lifted you lift me–
You got me higher than Kilimanjaro
Got me believin’ I can “save the day”
I’m up and running like there ain’t no tomorrow
I’d rather burn for you than fade away
I’d rather burn for you than go my way
I’m a whole new guy with a whole new vibe
Changed inside – more flame in the fire
Can’t stop, won’t stop praying for desire
Like the bunny on the screen feel so energized
Old shell gone without a trace, new face
No more shortness of breath, new pace
Live life now without the taste of fear
TOBYMAC, Double Dutch now let the smoke clear
(Let the smoke clear)
I want the world to know I burn for you
(I feek revived again)
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I’m energized again
(Burnin’ for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
(I am alive again)
You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
(I’m energized again)
You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I am alive again
You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
You lift me up
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| To Whom It May Concern.. |
[23 Feb 2006|12:55pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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music |
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Jeremy Camp - This Man |
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Well..how is everyone today? Well I am really tired because I had to open this morning and I don't think that I slept an entire hour last night. I don't know what was up with me. I was really tired and I layed down and I just couldn't sleep. I guess its where I have alot on my mind right now. However these things have been in my mind for a few days now so I don't really know why it is still keeping me up. Ah..oh well. I am fittin to go get me something to eat, watch Days and lay down.
Also for those whom it may concern I will not be at youth tonight. If ya wanna know where I am at then just call me. I'm not going to explain it all on here.
Oh..and this is something that I thought I would just do for yall..um..everytime I update I will put a song on here that I think that you all would like and to download. I have a very wide variety of music that I like but it will mostly be christian. It will all be good music and not bad stuff. Which is good!
Well I leave you all today with Jeremy Camp's This Man
In only a moment truth
Was seen revealed this mystery
The crown that showed no dignity he wore
And the king was placed for all the world
To show disgrace but only beauty flowed from this place
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
He held the weight of impurity
The father would not see
The reasons had finally come to be to
Show the depth of his grace flowed with
Every sin erased he knew that this was
Why he came
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
And we just don’t know the blood and
Water flowed and in it all
He showes just how much he cares
And the veil was torn so we could have
This open door and all these things have
Finally been complete
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
From his hands
From his hands
From his hands
From his hands
From his hands
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[22 Feb 2006|12:26pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Nichole Nordeman - What If |
] |
I just wanna say to pray for me. Ya know the devil trys everyway to creep in when you are so happy. But I am here to tell the devil that it isn't going to happen. Nope,Sorry! I have done been marked by Jesus and that is just that. He can try to bring me down but I have one thing that he doesn't and that is the Lord on my side. Cause you see Jesus done won over two thousand years ago. You've lost!
I just want you all to continue to pray for me and my family. Pray that I will have the strength to stand up even when it is hard. I will continue to pray for you.
What If
by: Nichole Nordman
What if you're right? He was just another nice guy.
What if You're right?
What if it's true? They say the cross will only make a fool of you.
What if it's true?
What if He takes His place in history with all the prophets and the kings
who taught us love and came in peace, but then the story ends?
What then?
But what if you're wrong? What if there's more?
What if there's hope you've never dreamed of hoping for?
What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?
What if you dig way down deeper than your simple-minded friends?
What if you dig?
What if you find a thousand more unanswered questions down inside?
That's all you find?
What if you pick apart the logic and begin poke the holes?
What if the crown of thorns is no more than folklore that must be told
and re-told, and re-told?
But what if you're wrong? What if there's more?
What if there's hope you've never dreamed of hoping for?
What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?
'Cuz you've been running as fast as you can.
You've been looking for a place you land for so long.
But what if you're wrong?
What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?
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| Victory In Jesus... |
[17 Feb 2006|12:07am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Yolanda Adams - Victory |
] |
HOORAH...
If you come to the Rest Area you know what HooRah means. And I am feeling that tonight.
Guys I am telling you I have the Lord all over me tonight. I am telling you all the Lord revealed himself to me in a way that I don't think I have ever really experienced before. And I just pray that this Joy never leaves my heart and soul. I am telling everyone I am not the same anymore. And I hope that when you see me now all you see is Jesus in me. I pray that when you look at me you don't see Whitney Mullins anymore because I am telling you all it isn't about Whitney Mullins anymore it is about Jesus. I pray that it won't be me anymore..it will be Him. If yall are sitting there reading this and are like what is this girl talking about. Then I will tell you that I am here tell you exactly what I got in me. Anytime I don't care when it is I would Love to talk to you about a man named Jesus. Cause ppl I ain't ashamed anymore. The Lord has something that he wants to do with my life and I am just here waiting for him to reveal it to me. I just praise his name.
This song is called Victory by Yolanda Adams. Download...Read the Lyrics...This song is running through me tonight and I want you to know that this song is true in my life and in many others. I just want you to continue to pray for me everyday. I truely love you all.
I got, got the victory
I got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus yes I do He is a mighty conqueror
In him I will trust all my battle's He'll fight
I got, got the victory I got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus
for me He died and He rose on the third day that's why I have true victory everyday
Truly I been through the stormin rain
I know everything about heartache and pain
But God carried me through it all
Without His protection I'd surely fall
I been broke without a dime to my name
but all my bills got paid 'cause I called on Jesus name
You can't tell me that God isn't real 'cause I got the victory and that's why I'm still here
I got, got the victory
I got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus yes I do He is a mighty conqueror
In him I will trust all my battle's He'll fight
I got, got the victory I got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus
for me He died and He rose on the third day that's why I have true victory everyday
I'm not worried 'bout material things I don't have
I just rest 'cause I'm sure in my savior's care
'cause I know that my blessing is on the way
I can't see it right now but I stand by faith
I fought many ,many battle's in His name
I held up the bloodstained banner and proclaim
that Jesus is the Truth and the Light
believe it when I say He will make it alright
I got, got the victory
I got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus yes I do He is a mighty conqueror
In him I will trust all my battle's He'll fight
I got, got the victory I got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus
for me He died and He rose on the third day that's why I have true victory everyday
Yeah I got the victory, yeah I got the victory yeah, yeah, yeah
(And if you have the victory sing along with me)
Yeah I got the victory, yeah I got the victory yeah, yeah ,yeah
(Over all of the trials,hey yeah,sing it with me I got the victory)
I got, got the victory
I got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus yes I do He is a mighty conqueror
In him I will trust all my battle's He'll fight
I got, got the victory I got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus
for me He died and He rose on the third day that's why I have true victory everyday
* I urge you all that if you can Friday (which is tonight) I wish that anyone who reads this will come tonight and tomorrow night @ 7 at L.F. Addington Middle school which is in Wise for Heart - Turn Youth Revival 2006. All age groups will be there. So I urge you to come out and just check it out. I pray that you will leave with the same joy that I am feeling tonight!*
God Bless you all!
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| Love Song... |
[15 Feb 2006|12:03am] |
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mood |
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 loved |
] |
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music |
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Third Day- Love Song |
] |
Happy Valentine's Day!
Love Song
by Third Day
I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvary
Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away.
I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
How may times has he broken that promise
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea
I know that you don't understand
the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize
how much that I gave you
But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away.
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| Okay.. |
[08 Feb 2006|01:17pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Ne Yo - So Sick |
] |
SO.........
I went to the doctor this morning and I found out what I have...it is a dry skin disease that starts with a P. It is a weird name that of I don't remember and he said that it will continue to come back so I guess that I will just have to deal with this nerve breaking disease. The funniest thing about this is that he couldn't figure out why I had it!? Yeah..ya see it seems that he has only seen it with the older patients. Much older if you know what I mean. Uh huh..yes Laugh cause I did. So guys I guess I really am getting old.
Well just thought everyone should know..
take care
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| I Just Want It To Stop!!!!!! |
[06 Feb 2006|03:50pm] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Chris Tomlin - How Great Is Our God |
] |
Okay..So I have had an allergic reaction to the blacklight paint that is in Danny's house. Lord have mercy..just everyone pray that it will stop..and soon..cause I am going to Gatlinburg Friday! HOORAH!!! Now that I am really excited about! We all get to go see Jentzeen Franklin speak at the convention center!
So this weekend is going to be exciting. Then on the 16-18 is the revival at the Rest Area. I just can't wait.
Oh so what about those Steelers last night. I am really excited about that win. The whole gang went to the Camp Bethel Super Bowl party because Josh and Robbie sang during the Halftime show and Danny brought the message. All of them did awsome and they both rocked. After the show I just couldn't take the itching so I had to go to walmart to buy some more medicine. I seriously thought about just buying the Benedryl liquid bottle and doing like Will Smith done in Hitch! haha..
Well..It is time to take yet another Benedryl...haha..this one will probably knock me out.
God Bless
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| Well..but I don't Wanna leave... |
[26 Jan 2006|03:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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P.O.D. - Goodbye For Now |
] |
Haha..I guess everyone is saying what in the world does "Well..but I don't Wanna leave.." mean. Haha..well let me tell ya what has been happening these few weeks. First off I would like to say that I am not leaving Lowes. Yes..I thought that I was, but I am not. I had a momentary lapse of judgment on my part which is very common.
Well see I started at a Day Care and I really liked it. But I got physically sick over leaving Lowes and I just couldn't do it. So I will probably end up being at Lowes for the rest of my days but ah..I guess that it alright.
Well that is all I guess I really have to say..
much love
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[13 Jan 2006|11:13am] |
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Every please pray for Danielle. She needs our prayers.
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